When DC rebooted the LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES in the mid-nineties, it was a take-off of Frank Miller’s DARK KNIGHT RETURNS, in that it was set in the future of that character’s life. Only difference was, in Dark Knight, Bruce Wayne was now an old man, and in LEGION, the heroes, who’d been mere teenagers in their original comic, were now-gasp- responsible adults living VERY adult lives such as raising families and keeping 9 to 5 jobs!
One of the more offbeat side stories in this controversial update was an interlude featuring one of the Legion’s more wacky members, Tenzil Kem, better known (back in the day) as “Matter-Eater Lad”. We tuned in on Tenzil as an adult and found he’d been running (very poorly) through a multitude of different jobs, including an archaeological explorer and even a space age lawyer!
Tenzil has been called to defend Brek Bannin (Polar Boy) in court, and while I don’t have time to go into it, (Trust me, the story was wacky and funny as hell!) one of the things that I found endearing was his banter with his able assistant, a beautiful blonde named Cal. In passages, I found her name to be “Calorie Queen”, and I laughed that they had created an assistant with a name to match “Matter-Eater Lad”
Little Did I Know that they HADN’T just created Calorie Queen, and that she was a character created a WAYS back! Imagine my surprise when (shopping in a comic store near Pike’s Market in Seattle) I found an old back issue of Superboy (Featuring the Legion of Super-Heroes, of course) and saw that one of the girls in the menacing super-team on the cover was none other that Tenzil’s trusty assistant, Calorie Queen Herself!! Getting that original issue with Calorie Queen as nature intended should have been a real eye opener into the character, for I now knew she had : 1) a costume, 2)a real name (Taryn Loy), and 3) a home planet (Bismoll, just like Tenzil!!!)…but honesty, it really didn’t do much for me. I simply liked the “later” Cal more! Smart and funny, cool and witty, she was the perfect foil for outlandish Tenzil Kem, and besides, If I have to choose between 70’s disco jumpsuit costumes or pretty dresses I always go with the latter. Because I do love a pretty girl in pretty clothes!
Props to Jim Shooter and Mike Grell for creating Cal, and BIG KUDOS to Tom and Mary Beirbaum and Keith Giffen for the “Update”!
Taryn Loy
Calorie Queen
First Appearance: Superboy #212
Bu Jim Shooter and Mike Grell
I began reading Marvel Comics’ X-MEN series during the highly acclaimed Byrne/Claremont run featuring the “All-New, All-Different” team, and so had no real knowledge of the original 1960’s team. But as my love of the “Uncanny” X-men grew, my curiosity of the Lee and Kirby team grew too, til I HAD to know more about them!
This was back in the pre-internet days when access to information of most comics was almost nil. The only real way to get info on any comic you liked was to talk to the local comic shop dealer or other collectors, and in that I was lucky because I had a couple of friends who were BIG collectors of Marvel Comics, and were always ready to educate me about any Marvel History I needed to know.
So one day after telling my friend I wanted to see what the “old” X-Men looked like, he came to class and handed me a comic. It was issue #46 of a Marvel reprint title called Marvel Triple Action, and it was here I got my very first glimpse of the original X-Men: Cyclops. Marvel Girl, Beast, Angel and Iceman, and right off the bat I was blown away- WOW! How colorful, dynamic and totally COOL they looked!
The comic also introduced me to the Avengers for the first time, and I IMMEDIATELY dived into the story, relishing the interesting dialog and powerful artwork, not knowing at the time that the tale was concocted by two GREATS of the Silver Age (Writer Roy Thomas and Artists Big John Buscema), only knowing that the story “In Battle Joined!” was the most KICK-ASS story I’d read in awhile! Begun in the pages of X-Men #45, this was a story of the Avengers and the X-Men united against mutual baddie Magneto. The X-Men have been captured by Magneto, and the Angel has escaped to get aid from the Avengers- but they arrive just in time to see Cyclops knocking out former Avenger Quicksilver…
Hawkeye, Goliath, Wasp and the Black Panther have come upon X-Man Cyclops standing over the fallen figure of Quicksilver. Not sure of the situation, they tell the youth to freeze. Cyclops, however, suspects they’re only robots created by Magneto, and isn’t taking any chances. He fires at Hawkeye, and when Black Panther jumps down to subdue him, a couple of blasts from his optic visor give Cyclops enough time to get away!
It seems that when the Angel escaped Magneto’s prison back in X-Men #45, he went directly to the Avengers mansion for assistance in rescuing his fellow X-Men. Since Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch were last seem leaving with Magneto back in Avengers #49, the Avengers are happy to team up tackling the master of Magnetism.
On the Atlantic flight over to Magneto’s island, Janet discovers a miniature bugging device hidden among Angel’s wings. The Avengers now believe he’s in cahoots with Magneto, and is setting them up. While he swears he ‘s innocent, they tie him up and leave him behind when they investigate the fortress. Thus we return to our opening scene where the Avengers have just arrived to see Cyclops flee!
Magneto is watching the entire drama play out, delighted that his plans are coming to fruition. Of course, it was all part of his plans for Angel to escape and get caught with the monitor on his wings. “ Now they and the X-Men, who might otherwise been allies- will be at each other’s throats!”
Toad doesn’t like the idea of bringing in the Avengers…they should have been satisfied capturing the X-Men- their REAL enemies! Magneto electrocutes Toad for his doubt, and Toad questions why Magneto always abuses him when he alone out of ALL the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants has been loyal. “Because I don’t NEED your Loyalty!” snaps Magneto. He explains that he’s only kept Toad around because it amused him, and now Toad is just angering him. Wanda steps in and begs Magneto to leave Toad alone, and Toad says “One day soon, Magneto shall know who his true friends are.”
Meanwhile, The Avengers have become antsy sneaking around the hidden fortress, and as usual, Hawkeye and Goliath start to bicker and fight. Soon the Black Panther, who initially tries to STOP the fight, is involved, and it is up to Jan to step in and remind them that there is a task at hand.
This moment of discourse is just what Magneto has been hoping to hear, and he releases a machine that unleashes crackling electronic commands upon the unsuspecting X-Men. When the sensations vanish, we realize just what the machine has done to their minds when Cyclops states, “There was something we were going to do! Yes- We were going to find the Avengers…and DESTROY THEM!”
Any doubt that the X-Men are on the wrong side of the good guys is gone when the Avengers confront the angry teen mob and Cyclops orders: “Kill Them! Kill The Avengers!”
Beast strikes the first blow at Black Panther, and the others follow his lead. After fighting for a while, the Avengers they find they are having a hard time beating them. Then Black Panther realizes it is because they subconsciously think of the X-Men as heroes, not villains. With this change in attitude, the Avengers make quick work of the youths, much to the confusion of Magneto, who thought the X-Men would be the victors!
His confusion only increases when he turns and finds The Angel has infiltrated the control room! Soon, the Avengers smash in, as well! Goliath knows Magneto must be dying of curiosity to find out what went wrong with his plans, and elucidates. “We guessed the bug on Angel was a plant, and tied his hands loosely! Wasp whispered in his ear our plans, then pretended to quarrel to lure you into an ill-timed attack!”
Magneto knows the only option is escape, and brings down a wall of metal parts onto the Avengers, giving himself enough time to get away! He orders Toad to get the escape ship, hitting him to get a move on. “He orders me to save him - and strikes me as he does so! Thus has he EVER rewarded my unwavering Loyalty!” thinks the Toad.
With a quick move, the Toad sets the machine generators to overload- soon the entire island will be decimated by the huge explosion! He leads the Scarlet Witch and a still dazed Quicksilver to a waiting escape ship. As the ship takes off, Magneto reaches out with his magnetic powers to lift him to the jet, but finds that his powers have no effect! Toad reminds him that he once built an entire ship out of non-metals, just to prove he could do it. As Magneto tries to hold onto the ship, He says, “Toad…Stop!! I am Your Master!” to which the Toad solemnly replies, “No Magneto. The Toad calls no man master- ever again!!” He steps on Magneto’s fingers and sends him hurtling to the jagged rocks below!
Meanwhile the Avengers and X-Men (who seem to have recovered from the hypno-ray) have made it back to their ship in time to witness the Toad and his crew leaving. They quickly shove off themselves, and a few minutes later, the very horizon rocks as the entire island goes up in a fiery explosion! Soon, the ocean is littered with smoking debris and machinery from the fortress, and among the bits of twisted metal floats the remains of Magneto’s once mighty metal helmet!
What a STORY!! I loved and re-read this issue so darn much that not only did I eventually collect all the back-issues of Marvel Triple Action featuring The Avengers (as well as Triple Action successor Marvel Super Action) but immediately began subscribing to the current issues as well -and what do you know- John Byrne was the artist HERE, too When I got older, I made it a priority to get my hands on all the ORIGINAL Avengers issues, and I was simply beside myself the day I got my very own copy of AVENGERS #53, the issue where that X-Men/Avengers story originally ran and the very issue you see scanned here!
Besides the overwhelming “pride of ownership” that came with obtaining this piece of Marvel history, there are several other good reasons to own the actual copy, and not just that they got the COLORS of Beast, Angel and Goliath right(!) in the original comic-I was ECSTATIC when I read the original issue and found there were TWO EXTRA PAGES that Marvel Triple Action had cut out! HOLY TOLEDO! This was like the Modern-Day equivalent of a DVD bonus! If I thought I loved that story BEFORE…MAN! Now it was BEYOND LOVE!!! Ahahahaha!
To this day, those Avengers issues from around issue #46-60 are still some of my favorite stories ever; Roy Thomas is still one of my favorite writers, and John Buscema one of my very favorite artists… When you consider that back then I was simultaneously reading both Thomas/Buscema stories AND Byrne/Claremont stories, there’s no wonder I call this my own personal “Golden Age” of comic reading in my life!
Perusing W♥M’s review of R.E.M.’s RECKONING Album and their song “Don’t Go Back to Rockville brought back happy memories of 10,000 Maniacs’ “Candy Everybody Wants” Maxi-Single, which featured not only “Don’ t Go Back To Rockville” and “Sally Ann”, but a cover of ANOTHER famous artist…
I used to go out with this girl who had a love of music as much as I did, and at that time, her favorite group was The Smiths, (in particular their enigmatic lead singer Morrisey) while one of my favorite groups (still is, actually) was the awesome Jamestown Alt/Folk band 10,000 Maniacs.
So one day at work, I’m listening to the college radio station, and they’re spinning the latest single from Natalie Merchant and the boys, and I am pleasantly surprised to hear them do a cover of Morrisey’s “Everyday is like Sunday”!
I picked her up after work, and was about to tell her the exciting news, but before I could, she burst out, “Guess what, today I heard some BITCH trying to cover Morrisey’s Everyday is Like Sunday!!!”
Stunned, I defensively said “What?! That was no “Bitch”! That was 10,000 Maniacs!!!”
Then she said, “Oh…really?”
And I adamantly said “YEAH!!!” Ahahahahahahaaa!!!
Well, I can't remember if she ever gave the 10,000 Maniacs version a chance, although to be fair, she did like quite a lot of OTHER songs from The Maniacs. Too bad Morrisey never did a cover of one of Natalie's songs!
Have a listen here and decide for yourself!
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